


Jesse Stop Its 4pm

by StolenVampires



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Also based off a tumblr post, B/c text posts 2 good, Humor, M/M, and no beta, help me im in fandom trashbin, i have no life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7362415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StolenVampires/pseuds/StolenVampires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCree and Hanzo get hurt and stuck in the same medical bay waiting to get better. Inspired from tumblr post</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jesse Stop Its 4pm

They had fucked up.   
Well, if McCree was being fair, Hanzo had been the one to fuck it up this time. HE had been on the point, ready to take out Talon agents as he was told. For once it was McCree playing by the rules and Hanzo being the renegade. 

It had been a simple mission. Go in, stop Talon, get out. But no. Mr. Handzome (He would have to thank Hana for telling him that one), had to go and say that he must reclaim his honor after a Talon agent called him a coward for not fighting one on one.  
It was a rookie mistake, a stupid mistake that McCree didn't think the man would give into but he had. Probably because the agent had said it Japanese and according to what Genji had so helpfully translated, it might have included a mention of Hanzo's inability to uphold past oaths and such. Very old world honor stuff that McCree just found a bit too much for his liking.

Whatever had been said, it had ended up with Hanzo nearly getting shot up and McCree having to play rescue the archer.   
Which ended with McCree with a broken prosthetic, and two gunshot wounds in the leg. Hanzo was lucky. He just had a gunshot to the side with minimal damage. Missed all organs. Also a broken bow arm. Both from a practical and spiteful view, McCree figured it was the dragon's luck or whatever it was that gave the Shimada brothers their powers. 

He hadn't wanted to see Hanzo dead. Much be the one to tell Genji. The younger sibling still hoped that Hanzo might forgive himself one day, but the cowboy saw it better than most. Hanzo was a world away from the reality of a living brother- he still lived in the world where he'd killed his own kin.

A deep sigh and McCree reached up to try and cover his face with his hat only to groan loudly. Angela had taken it because 'hats get in the way of healing. And IV drips.'   
He really wanted his hat back.

Both because the lights were far too bright, and because he could feel Hanzo's angry gaze from across the room. They'd been forced to share a room in the medical bay due to limited space, and the kindly nurse, ('McCree I am a fully Licensed Medical Professional, not a nurse much less your nurse') as he liked to call their resident doctor, was under the impression that Hanzo wouldn't find a way to kill MCCree for interfering with the whole honor restoring bit.

"You gonna stare at my pretty face all day or you gonna say something partner?" McCree was tired, hurt, and waiting for the pain meds to kick in. His own threshold for dealing with Hanzo's usual grumpiness was lower than normal.  
"For the last time McCree, we are not partners." Hanzo said with that same firmness he said when he denied that he liked cheap ramen noodles. Forced, and while it could fool some, it didn't fool him. The Deadlock gang had taught him how to read people. Reyes had taught him how to make them read themselves to him.   
A difference that was always nice to know when deal with Hanzo.

"We get sent on missions all the time together. We get paired up each time by others. Why, look as us now. Sharen' a room and bickerin. Most folks would call that being partners." McCree let himself fall into that teasing tone, knowing that unless Hanzo wanted to suffer Angela's wrath, he'd stay to his own medical bed.  
Hanzo glared, red filling his cheeks as McCree looked over, smiling slyly.  
"Partner." The American made sure to have it sound as filthy as he possibly could.

It got a reaction. Hanzo making a disgusted noise and turning away. But now, McCree could feel the pain medicine kicking in, that light euphoric state of being that helped take away pain and reservations.

McCree should have stopped. He knew Hanzo would be furious with him about the honor thing but-  
"So should I count this as our first fight as partners Hanzo" his voice drawled the 'o', "or is this just a bye-" he shouldn't, "-noon?"  
He did. 

Hanzo's neck probably caught whiplash from how quickly it spun to face him, a look of 'how dare you say that to me'. Problem was McCree wasn't sure of it is was because he'd joked about them being a couple or because of the pun. McCree hoped it was both.

"Don't be like that Darlin'." Hanzo was red and McCree was too far into the meds to be able to tell if it was rage or embarrassment.  
"When Mercy gets back round we can have her put our beds side by side all snug like. Then it can be-" Hanzo's mouth was moving but he was saying nothing.  
"-Lie noon."

Hanzo gave up, a loud groan and sigh leaving the archer before he turned away once more.  
"So it's sigh noon then?"  
"Jesse, it is past 4 in the afternoon and I am tired of your japes."   
"Japes? Now who went and taught you them fancy words?"  
"English might be my second language but I am not ignorant."  
"Back to lie noon then."  
Another heavy groan, a loud beep and bright light over Hanzo's bed signaled the man had called for Angela. Probably to try and shut McCree up.  
"Aw don't be like that Handzome." Now he'd gone and done it. Used that internet slang the kids kept using when they thought Hanzo couldn't hear them. Fact was, McCree was pretty sure Hanzo knew exactly what nicknames they had given him.  
Including Handsoap.

"I'm just having a high noon." Hanzo turned back, face blank and filled with pure apathy. Hanzo had reached the end of his patience and knew he could do nothing. It was so beautiful a situation and McCree was milking it for all he could.  
"Get it. High because-"  
"If you do not stop talking Jesse it will be Die Noon in a few scant minutes." 

The room went silent as McCree's brain tried to react to what had just fallen out of Hanzo's mouth.  
Was that a joke?  
Was that a pun?  
Was that-

"Oh boy howdy." McCree rolled onto his back, smiling like a loon.  
The sound of the door opening made McCree grin wider.  
"You really are the McPartner of my dreams."

The sound of Angela screaming at Hanzo to not move in German were pure music to McCree's ears.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from tumblr post http://hanzo-lo.tumblr.com/post/146588489686/mccree-visiting-hanzo-at-the-hospital-whenever-he  
> also yes same fic space as my McLoving it fic b/c jokes for days


End file.
